Lessons in Lamaze

This past Tuesday Paul and I had our first of five Lamaze classes. They actually no longer call it Lamaze they call it Prepared Childbirth which I think is kind of a crock because who really is ever prepared for childbirth..right? You may think you have it all put together but once you are going through the motions it probably never quite happens the way you expect it.

In any case, we showed up to class with about 12 or so other couples and it was fun to see all the different bellies in one room. Big bellies, little ones, high bellies and low ones. It was fun to size everyone up. We started with introductions and the teacher asked each of us to give our names, our due date, the gender of the baby, if we planned on having an epidural and what the best and worst part of being pregnant was. It was really fun to hear all the responses especially from the husbands who finally had the opportunity to complain about the most challenging part of their wives pregnancy. The class was pretty divided on boys vs. girls with a few who wanted a surprise. Same thing went for people who were planning on using drugs vs. not using them or being unsure. I would never kid myself and pretend that I could actually go without an epidural so that was easy to answer. I said that my most challenging part of pregnancy (especially lately) has been sleeping. Major hip aches and knee aches and discomfort in general. I also said that the best part has been decorating and shopping for all the fun little girl stuff. It is one of the best parts for sure, along with feeling her move but that had already been said a few times and you know me...had to say something different. The funniest part, at least for the class, was to hear Paul's response about the most challenging time for him with this pregnancy...keeping up with paying for my shopping for a little girl. Leave it to him to have some witty response and be the class clown.

After we finished intros the teacher went through a bunch of general information and then broke us in early with a birthing video. Keep in mind I had heard horror stories about these birthing videos. Specifically from a couple of my best girlfriends who delivered at Mercy. They had told me that they were pretty graphic and the women they used to video tape were not the most shall we call it well kept and good looking participants. That coupled with the fact that I saw one of my best friends deliver her daughter a year ago left me feeling relatively well prepared for what I was about to see. And, in all honesty I wasn't scared at all because the birth I witnessed a year ago was truly one of the most amazing miracles I have seen in my life. Never for a moment was I grossed out or disgusted or freaked out. It was actually quite a beautiful thing and I will cherish that as long as I live.

So back to the video...I knew the men in the class would be ill-prepared for what they were about to see. It really wasn't that bad in retrospect but there were some definite groans from the men and a few who looked away probably for fear of passing out in class. The men were actually way more entertaining than the video. Paul made it through like a champ but he did have this look on his face when it was over... like he just learned there is no Easter Bunny- kind of sad and shocked and trying to process it all. He shook it off though and was just fine by the time the class ended.

Following the video we layed out our pillows and blankets and did a relaxation exercise that was surprisingly quite relaxing. Maybe there is something to be said for this Lamaze stuff. I kind of thought it was a little corny but then again I also didn't believe in the power of acupuncture up until a year ago either. So, who knows...I will give it my best shot for the next four weeks of class. I am sure I will learn some valuable things and get plenty of laughs in the meantime but certainly I won't kid myself and pretend that I am going to be "prepared" for childbirth. Who really ever is?