An Elephant on my Chest

I am certain there is an invisible elephant sitting on my chest. Since about month 3 I have begun to easily become winded. And, it has gotten progressively worse over time. I have always considered myself in relatively good shape (with a major emphasis on RELATIVELY) and going into this pregnancy I remember thinking...This is no problem. I am fairly thin and fairly strong so I can carry an added 30 pounds of weight without a doubt. I mean I schlep these darn clothes around like I am living out of my car half the time and they easily way 100 pounds altogether. Certainly I am fit enough to handle this pregnancy. Boy oh boy was I kidding myself. I guess when the weight is actually physically attached to you it is another story.

I have gained about 8 pounds already...okay I have actually gained 9 (that extra pound is water weight though so it doesn't count today :-)Anyway, my point being that I really haven't gained that much in the grand scheme of things but it has certainly begun to take it's toll on my body. Half the time it feels like I am walking around with an elephant on my chest. For example, by the time I made it into Target from the parking lot today I felt like I needed to sit down and take 5. And better yet, the delivery guy I spoke to on the phone today asked me a question that required me to get out of my chair in the office...quickly walk to the kitchen...and return to the office. By the time I made it back to the phone I was huffing and puffing so loudly you would have thought I operated a 900 number on the side. The funniest times that even make me chuckle are during my clothing presentations. These poor women...bless their hearts...I know they are doing all they can not to completely crack up as I huff and puff my way through a 30 minute presentation. Most of the time I have to stop intermittently, take a swig of water, make a joke about not being able to breathe and pray that someone will have something to say about the clothes just so I can have a few more seconds of air. Luckily most of them have kids so they can relate. I even had a hostess bring it up to me after a show recently. During this presentation I didn't comment about not being able to breathe or make any jokes about it for that matter. But after I was finished she said to me, "I remember when I was pregnant I had such a hard time breathing. I was always winded...Do you ever feel that way?" I am thinking, "UH YA lady, I am doing breathing exercises behind the damn rack after each group...couldn't you tell? I mean HELLO!... I sounded like I just ran a marathon during my entire presentation. Instead of saying all this I casually smiled and said, yes I do feel that way to which she replied, "Ya I could tell by your voice and the fact that it didn't sound the way it normally does." ...Well that's a good thing because if I normally sounded like that all my clients would think I was a loony and I would probably be out of a job. But thanks for letting me know! It was too funny. And, I know it will only get worse. I fully expect by the time I hit June I will have to carry around one of those rolling air tanks to my shows just so I can make it through the presentation. Which makes me think...I now know what those crazy people who climb Everest without oxygen must be feeling like at 29,000 ft...Like they have an elephant sitting on their chest of course.

And so, here I am in El Dorado Hills at 747 ft with a baby in my belly and a proverbial elephant on my chest and still I couldn't be happier!